


Letters Through The Void

by littleboxoflaughter



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Discussion of Death, Epistolary, F/M, Original Character(s), Romance, Shakarian - Freeform, confronting your own mortality, these two are the biggest dorks in the galaxy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 00:20:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16565963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxoflaughter/pseuds/littleboxoflaughter
Summary: The moments in between the cutscenes. How Kat Shepherd fell in love with her best friend, saved the galaxy, and pieced together a family both on and off the Normandy.Told partially in letters.





	Letters Through The Void

He'd never seen Shepherd cry before. Technically he still hasn't. But he could hear her sniffling in her bathroom.

  
“Was it that bad?” He asked from outside the door and heard a thump as she knocked something over.

  
“Garrus. I thought you were still asleep.” She deflected.

  
“I'm a light sleeper these days.” He explained, hoping she wouldn't press.

“Are you okay, Kat?”

  
There was a pause. She was contemplating whether or not she could get away with lying to him.

  
“It's stupid.” She finally said.

  
“You're a lot of things Shepherd, but stupid isn't one of them.” He replied.  
There was another pause, and then the door whooshed open. Shepherd stood there in her sleeping clothes. Her eyes were red and her face was blotchy. She held out a data pad so that he could see the document displayed on it.

  
A human social media site, open to the account of a Molly Burke. There were several photos of a smiling human woman with her family, a few of a snow covered dwelling, and of a small mammal. Interspersed with the photos were short messages detailing contents of the pictures.

  
“Mom was a Burke before she married my Dad.” Shepherd said. “Molly is her sister’s daughter, my cousin.”

  
Garrus realized with a start that he was looking at Shepherd’s family. A closer look at the pictures revealed similarities between the two women. The way their eyes crinkled with every genuine smile, the tilt of their head. The little boy in Molly’s arms even had Shepherd’s hair color.

  
“I told myself I wasn't going to check in on them. They're civilians and, unless Mom says anything, they won't even know about the rumors and Alliance intel that says I'm back. It'll be easier on them not to lose me twice if we don't make it. I should never have looked, but then Mordin told me about how he called his nephew and I just…” Shepherd was babbling. Garrus reached out and took her hand.

  
“I called my Dad about two hours before you showed up on Omega.” He interrupted. She looked up at him with both curiosity and gratitude in her eyes. “I was starting to run low. On heat sinks, on stims, on endurance. On everything, really. I knew it was only a matter of time, and, well, it was already too late for ‘no regrets’. I suppose I just wanted to minimize them, to not leave bad blood between us. So I called. After I woke up in the medbay though…”

  
“You thought about just leaving it like that.” Shepherd finished as he trailed off.

He nodded. “I thought about it for weeks. And I suppose I never thanked you for bringing me with you to Ilium for Miranda’s sister. I wrote them a letter after that. Not much, just a “hi, I'm not dead yet, but don't hold your breath.’”  
Shepherd rewarded him with a tiny smile.

  
“I guess, what I wanted them to know, beyond love and family, was that if this is it for us, that I don't have any regrets this time. If we go out in a blaze of glory, we’re taking the Collectors with us. And I like to think that means something. Not-” his voice faltered momentarily as his mind drifted to a row of bodies on Omega, “Not everyone gets to choose their death, or what it means. We do. When we go through that relay, we're choosing. And I don't know what that has to do with…” He glanced down at the data pad, “‘the first snow on the old oak tree’, but I made you smile at least once, so I’ll just tell myself I helped and count it as a win.” He finished awkwardly.  
Shepherd chuckled at him, and then pulled him down to press a soft kiss on his mandible.

  
“Thanks, Garrus.” She said, and took the data pad back. “I think I'll stay up a little later. Write a letter or two. You feel free to go back to sleep.”

  
“I've already had a full cycle. Any more would make me sluggish. But I can leave if you want some privacy.” He offered. “Or, if you'd prefer company, I could stay.”

  
He was rewarded with another smile.  
“I'd like that.”

  
-

The door chime was more of an announcement than a request these days, but Shepherd still couldn't stop herself from acknowledging it. Vega stepped inside with a paper folder and a salute. He greeted her with a “good morning, ma’am” instead of “Commander”, so she decided to let it slide.

  
“You've got a civilian visitor request. Security’s already vetted ‘em and they're just waiting on your okay.” He said, holding out the folder. As she took it, Shepherd wondered how much the Alliance was spending on paper in order to keep her away from any tech more advanced than a light bulb. Her eyes widened when she saw the name printed on the page.

  
“Yes. Of course.” She said, “just tell me where to sign.”

 

An hour later, Shepherd paced her room, waiting. She was more nervous than she'd ever been for any Council meeting or Alliance ceremony. The door opened and her guest was escorted inside by Vega.

  
“I'll just leave you two alone, now that we're sure there isn't a file in a cake or something.” He said. Shepherd shook her head, then grunted as a human projectile slammed into her and wrapped around her.

  
“Oh my god, Katie!” Her cousin cried out, her voice choked with tears. Kat Shepherd carefully extricated an arm to pat her cousin’s back and sent a flat glare at Vega’s raised eyebrow. He shrugged and exited. A sniffling Molly finally stood back and looked her dead in the eyes.  
“You were dead, Katie.” She stated quietly. “How are you here?” Kat Shepherd opened her mouth with a smile and was interrupted by Molly, “please don't say it's the wonders of Mass Effect fields. I want a straight answer for once. I won't even repeat what the media is saying, and that admiral of yours keeps telling me that things are ‘classified’. What happened out there, Katie?” Molly entreated. So Kat (not Shepherd, Kat now, for once, finally) took her hand and led her over to the sofa and told her nearly everything. From Alchera to Aratoht. And for the first time, she didn't tell the briefing version, with its details focused on combat strength and tactics. Instead she talked about the scars she was missing, the pride she felt seeing Wrex on his cracked throne, the sting of Ashley’s words on Horizon, how guilty she felt for leading her Alliance crewmen into yet another crime. Molly listened, her hand reaching out grasp Kat’s every now and then, squeezing it reassuringly.

  
“I wanted to call. I wanted to come home. But I thought it might be kinder not to raise your hopes and then just fuck off through the Omega Relay.”

  
“But you didn’t.” Molly said, and Shepherd nearly blushed, thinking of the night before Garrus had convinced her to give her family a real goodbye, with nothing left unspoken.

  
Molly raised an eyebrow and Kat kicked herself internally. Her cousin could zero in on juicy gossip from miles away. There’d be no rest for her until she’d divulged all the details. As usual with her cousin, Kat was surprised to find that she didn’t mind a bit.

-

To: Garrus Vakarian  
From: Molly Burke

Dear Mr. Vakarian,  
Admiral Anderson told me how to get in touch with you on behalf of my cousin. She wanted to let you know that she's fine. They aren't allowing her access to the extranet, but I visited her this afternoon and can take her a transcribed message when I go back tomorrow. She also asked me to inquire about anti-Reaper measures the average civilian can make. My government doesn't believe her warnings. I'm not sure I'm ready to believe it either, but I'm not going to risk my son’s life out of hesitance.  
Also, Kat told me say that she's working on her reach and that you’d know what it means.  
Sincerely,  
Molly Burke

To: Molly Burke  
From: Garrus Vakarian

Dear Ms. Burke,  
Thank you for the message. Knowing that both you and Anderson are looking out for Shepherd is a relief. I've attached a few Reaper information packets designed by my task force. Turians don't exactly have civilians, but I've made some notations based on what I know about human society. On a less generalized note, I would recommend finding someplace remote and low tech. Stock it well and make it as defensible as you can. The Reapers will come whether people believe in them or not.  
Give Shepherd my regards and tell her that I'm working on my flexibility. And that I never thought I'd say that I miss seeing her charge across my sight lines, but there it is.  
Respectfully,  
Garrus Vakarian

To: Garrus Vakarian  
From: Molly Burke

Dear Garrus,

Thank you for the information packet. It was very informative. I’m in the process of moving my family out to our grandparents farm in Oklahoma. Kat tells me that there’s not much out there to make us a target for Reapers. I haven’t been able to visit, but I got a letter from Kat a little while ago. She says she’s doing well and asked me to tell you to watch her shields next time. I’m sure you know what that means, because I’ve got no clue.

Molly

-

**Author's Note:**

> Happy N7 Day!   
> I said to myself as I wrote this.  
> I’m not quite sure what this is, or what it’ll turn into, but I will update the tags as it grows. Cutrently, it’s just me playing around with Kat Shepherds backstory and how that would affect her throughout the story.


End file.
